that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
