Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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