At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize