the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
