i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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