he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
