Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
