Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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