Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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