Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
