32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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