He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
