He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
