just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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