I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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