So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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