Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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