Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
