at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
