I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dignity is for republicans.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
