Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
