tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
