Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
