Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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