I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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