who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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