oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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