Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
