Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
