I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
