But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
