fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
