goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
