I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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