dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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