he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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