Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
