I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize