hotel room ftw
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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