there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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