Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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