It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
