he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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