i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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