Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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