i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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