I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
