what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
