Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize