just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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