I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
