I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
