if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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