There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
