well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She's the barista slut.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
