he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
love makes seman taste better
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just had sex on a roof
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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