im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize