Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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