On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In other news, I just burned my penis
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
