i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize