apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
