is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
