I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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